Look a Little Deeper
by Campino
Summary: When tragedy strikes Tomoyo, robbing her of her sight, it seems no one can get through to her. Alone in a dark world, Tomoyo pushes everyone away. Only one special person realizes just what it is she needs and earns a bit more than just her trust.
1. One

**__**

Look a Little Deeper

Chapter One

By: Sorano

Disclaimer- You know how it works. CCS isn't mine (though you have no much I wish it were!)

My parents and their friends are drunk- it's disgusting. I am downstairs (they are so loud! And what dirty language they are using!) so I thought I would donate a story to you all so that I can lock myself away. Please save me, minna! 

**********************************************************************************************************************

"Tomoyo-chan!"

A small girl was sitting at the pond's edge, letting her graceful, pale fingers trail through the icy water. She was so engrossed with her own somber reflection that she did not hear her name being called. Her stony gaze drifted across the rippling dark waters and took in the bruised sun that was heading to bed in the silent forest. The air was piney and sweet but the air was quickly growing cool. Rubbing her bare arms did not halt the goosebumps that were sure coming.

"Tomoyo-chan!" The sweet, girlish voice called again, this time much closer.

It was the clumsy footsteps that caused the girl to eventually turn around to view that which was disturbing the quiet of dusk. At whirlwind speed a blur of colors raced down the emerald grassy hill towards her. A gentle smile alit the girl's face when she realized who it was and she gave a small wave.

Sakura Kinomoto, a cheerful fawn-like girl finally caught up to her friend. This was an odd concept because it was she who was moving and not Tomoyo. It just happened to feel to her like the harder she pushed her feet the farther away Tomoyo seemed to drift.

Sakura slidded to ground only inches from the murky depths although it was more likely her energy would have carried her over and beyond. Yes, her friends would always remember that about her. Sakura ran like the wind.

The girl sitting by the lake, Tomoyo, pulled her legs up to her chest, spreading her navy blue kimono around her like a small pool of water. She gazed awkwardly at Sakura and bit her lip before regrettable words could spill out.

Sakura's bright eyes were focused on everything and anything but the fair girl before her. Neither of them knew how to approach this situation. "Tomoyo-chan…Listen to me Tomoyo-chan, I… Ano, you know me. I would never hurt you. I really am sorry. Look, don't be mad. It was an accident…Iie, I'm sorry. It wasn't. Ara, you-"

Tomoyo's dark glare cut her off, pools of blue seemingly void of emotion. She wanted to yell and stomp her feet and tell Sakura that it wasn't an accident. She wanted Sakura to admit she had been part of a cruel joke… Sakura had a part in it. But Sakura looked so earnest sitting there, like a puppy that had been whipped for cookies the little child ate.

Tomoyo's long fingers began to tremble as they reached forward and clasped the folds of her friend's pink kimono. "I…I understand, Sakura-chan. We are friends, ne?"

"Of course!" Sakura's grin widened, she knew she could count on her friend not to mope for long. "Look, I'll swear it, because I mean it forever!" She held out a tiny brown finger, waiting for Tomoyo to join it.

Tomoyo had to tell herself over and over again that Sakura loved her and was a good girl before she could extend her own pink and join it with her friend's.

If Sakura had noticed Tomoyo's hesitation she did not let on but she was very careful not to pull very had when she twisted their bond around. "It won't happen again, Tomoyo-chan. And I won't talk to Yamazaki-kun for a whole week!" She flung her arms out dramatically as if to demonstrate just how upset she was. 

There was quiet between the two girls for a couple minutes then- an agonizing loneliness that had never existed between the two before. Sakura shivered in the ever-growing dark and peered around anxiously, eager to be away for obviously more than one uncomfortable reason. 

"Tomoyo-chan…" she whispered heavily into the thick summer air. "It's kind of scary out here, don't you think? Hiirigaziwa-kun once told me about the warui-onna that used to live here a hundred years ago." Her voice shook and she moved closer to Tomoyo. "Warui-onna used to invite children into her home then murder them in horrible, inhumane ways. Her ghost haunts the lake now, ara, take your hand out! And the forest is filled with the ghosts of her victims."

"That silly, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo replied quietly, though she would admit the woods were horribly unsettling. It was around this area she had indeed seen one of Sakura's 'ghosts' a couple years ago. No, Tomoyo! That was not a ghost! Sakura is merely getting carried away again.

"Aren't you getting cold, Tomoyo-chan? Your kimono is made of such a fine silk that I would expect the breezes from the pond to bite into you."

"It's a warm night, Sakura-chan. Shhh, if you listen you could hear the crickets singing. It's really nice. Don't talk now!"

Sakura did try to listen for a few minutes but her ears were clogged up from the merry music in the city and she couldn't sit still long enough. "Gomen, Tomoyo-chan." She rubbed her ears slightly annoyed. "I don't have as good of ears as you."

"I think you have wonderful ears, Sakura-chan. You just don't listen hard enough."

Sakura stood up and grasped Tomoyo's hand. "Please come back to the festival now, Tomoyo-chan. Everyone is really worried when you just ran off like that. You should've seen Syaoran-kun! He was so mad! He swore would kill that group if they ever tried to hurt you again! He's already off searching for them so he can break their kneecaps!"

Sakura tried to sound angry but it wasn't difficult to see the pride shining through her voice. Tomoyo had been eager originally for Syaoran to admit his feelings for Sakura but now she was beginning to regret it. Her life had been so lonely and backward since the Chinese boy entered their lives, left, then reentered. It was hard to hold onto Sakura. So hard to hold on…

Tomoyo pulled away from Sakura as they began to walk up the small hill, turning in the other direction towards suburbia. It was hard for her to resist the slight tugging on her sleeves.

"Tomoyo-chan? Daijoubu? Aren't you coming with me?"

"Iie, gomen nasai. I am tired, Sakura-chan so I'm going home. My head really hurts," she mumbled. The splitting pain in her head had been on and off since third period early that day. Sonomi had wanted to keep her home, but Tomoyo had then been under the impression this was not a festival to be missed. The ache was back worse than ever now and all Tomoyo wanted to do was to head home.

Sakura looked worried, her jade-stone eyes filled with uncertainty. She really wanted to go back and join her friends, but she couldn't just leave Tomoyo. Her friend really wasn't very well off that night, which would explain why she had taken the whole thing at the festival dance so personally. Tomoyo wouldn't normally have gotten so angry. Not her gently, mild-tempered Tomoyo. 

No, it must have been the fact that Tomoyo was sick that caused her to blow up like she did, pushing Kierokei-kun into the dunking both and ripping up the ribbon. Sakura had known all along there must have been some logical explanation for Tomoyo's behavior. She couldn't just accept an overnight personality change. Tomoyo wasn't the type to do such a complete 180 like that. She smiled now; knowing it would be easier to put the whole night in the past. 

"Ara, I'll walk you home, Tomoyo-chan."

"You don't have to do that. Honto, Sakura-chan. I'm fine. I really can make it home by myself."

"Are you sure?"

No. "Hai. Go back to the party. Win me something."

"Of course, Tomoyo-chan! If you're sure you'll be alright..." she still looked a little uncertain. "I will send Kero-chan over to visit you, okay? And I'll see you tomorrow, at school?"

"Hai. If you don't hurry then you will miss the fireworks."

Sakura's face froze and she gave a frantic glance to her watch, the one Yukito had given her so many years ago and was miraculously still functioning to this day. "Hoe! You're right! Ja! Ja! Ja!" Sakura waved her arm continually back at her friend before she ran out of sight. Tomoyo could only imagine how difficult it must have been for Sakura to do all that running in her formal sandals.

"Konbanwa, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said listlessly into the air before turning around and heading down the stone walkway that led to her home.

* * *

"What do you mean you're not going to school?" Sonomi Daidouji demanded crossly, standing inches away from her daughter's luxurious bed.

"I mean just what I said, Okasan. I don't feel well so I'm staying home today. My head hurts really bad."

"This doesn't have anything to do with that little ruckus at the shichinichi festival does it? Because you know that the whole school will have for-"

"Iie, okaasan. Please, I just want to sleep." And maybe never wake.

"Look Tomoyo-chan, I don't have time for this. I have a meeting in twenty minutes and if-"

"Then go to your meeting, you don't need to stay home and baby-sit me. I am capable of taking care of myself."

Though Sonomi looked doubtful, it was evident she didn't want her daughter becoming deathly ill by enduring a day of school. Tomoyo did look awfully pale, though she didn't even have a fever. In the end she gave in and with a quick kiss told her daughter she would see her that night. It wasn't long before Tomoyo was alone in the house, feeling more blah and frightened than ever before.

Tomoyo sat up stiff and bone-tired in her poster bed, rubbing her dark eyes roughly. There seemed to be a bit of grit in them that just wouldn't come out. She found the wooden floorboards icy cold and quickly reached for her slippers. But where were they? There was a scratching sound between her temples and her eyes were squinted, unable to focus.

She knelt down and groped with her hand until she came into contact with fuzzy, warmness. The fuzzy blue was reassuring, despite it's blurred appearance and after being slipped on her feet, Tomoyo righted herself.

"What's wrong with me? I didn't feel this bad yesterday," Tomoyo mumbled to herself, holding both hands out in front of her for fear she would fall flat on her face. The world seemed to be tilting itself all around and Tomoyo had no doubt she would be upside-down in a matter of minutes.

The young girl shuffled down the hall until she found the toilet. She climbed up onto the marble counter and opened the latch to the sickly yellow medicine cabinet. The inside shelves were stocked with tiny white and brown bottles in nice tidy little rows. Many of them were empty. Sonomi kept her drugs for sleeping and such in her own ensuite, but this room held some sort of backup supply. 

The pounding in her head increased with every bottle she tossed down to the floor. She was having an amazingly difficult time finding a simple container of children's Aspirin® and was becoming desperate enough to down a whole bottle of her mother's Prozac. It was only that the label printing was so incredibly tiny! The letters moved back and forth in front of Tomoyo's wary gaze, kashaing as if to mock her.

"Please," she whispered, her shaky breath coming out in a high hiss. Her hands fumbled with the safety lock on the Tylenol® cap, her mumbled brain would not allow her to remember how to open it. Her rounded nails dug into the plastic and didn't release their old until nearly five minutes later. By that time Tomoyo was weeping.

The room was getting darker, instead of brighter with the sun. The cap snapped off the bottle and flew through the misty air, landing on the blue-tiled floor with an obnoxious _clang_. 

Tomoyo was able to keep her wits about her, and therefore only popped the maximum amount of pills in her mouth. She stuck her mouth under the tap and instinctively gulped water in to wash away the bitter nausea.

She went downstairs, the drilling in her head fading slightly to the kitchen. She poured herself a small bowl of Cornflakes® but she had no appetite. The food lay untouched on the kitchen island when she went into the study, foolishly believing she could catch up some of her homework. It was the mature thing to do; make some use of her day off instead of just lounging about. 

As Tomoyo pulled out her math textbook she wondered glumly what was happening at Tomoeda elementary that moment. Probably recess. It was only a fleeting moment that Tomoyo wished she were playing with her friends, but she remembered with a wave of sadness that they didn't seem to be doing much playing anymore.

Tomoyo would be rehearsing indoors for the Natsu Concert with Minkyo-Sensei at the particular time. She really did need the practice lately. It was the first time a teacher had ever critised her for her music, but it seemed to be all she heard lately. She continually played the wrong note, sending a shrieking chorus of saws through the school. It couldn't be helped. The notes kept jumping around on her, a G sharp appearing as an F flat.

Homework...that's right. Best get back… maybe I need glasses! Tomoyo thought with a horrible shock, for this idea had been slow in coming to her. "My eyes do seem to be bothering me a lot lately." Tomoyo suddenly felt a lot better knowing the probable cause for her ailment and made a mental post-it note to ask her mother for an eye exam.

She added sums together for about two hours before her eyes were screaming for a break. Watering and even bleeding in some spots, Tomoyo's eyes were useless to her. Somehow numbers caused her less grief than letters, though she did not have any idea why. It was the first time in her life she found math easier than her Japanese writings.

Tomoyo stretched out on the plush leopard-skin sofa in the bright, open sunroom. With a wet cloth over her worn eyes Tomoyo drifted into an uneasy sleep. She awoke in darkness. Complete, utter nothingness.

At first Tomoyo was calm and assumed she must have slept long into the night. She stumbled around in the dark until her hands felt the hard lightswitch. As you can imagine, no change occurred and it was only then that real fear began to overcome her. It was not night; Tomoyo could hear birds and not crickets. No, it was black in the middle of the day.

She screamed. A terrible, anguished cry of a wounded animal or a terrified child in this case. In all her eleven years of being, Tomoyo had stored up a lot of raw emotion that was now manifesting itself in her predicament. She would not sit and be quiet and calm when her sight had been taken away from her. Incapable of rational thought, she threw herself down on the wooden floors and kicked.

Her hand came in contact with an old wicker chair- her Obaasan's- and she gripped it tight in her sweaty hands. Screeching and wailing she rammed it against every solid object she could find, shattering glass, knocking over flowerpots. "I'm not alone! I'm not alone! I'm not alone! It's not real…It's not real…"

She swung the old chair in the thin air one time and it's force, hitting nothing, caused her to slip and fall along with it. She tripped over the long legs and felt herself tumble down the wooden steps onto the cool grass.

Tears flooded her eyes and she sat alone against the side of the house for quite some time, lip bleeding and a big bruise on her crown. Even worse than the aching pain streaming through her body was the terrible incomprehensible isolation and helplessness. 

She rocked back and forth there with arms hugging her legs for hours, repeating her sad mantra. "It's not real…It's not real…It's not real…Ara, please God, tell me it isn't real."

"Tomoyo-chan! What are you doing?" a shrill voice demanded. "Why are you crying? What happened?"

Okaasan…Tomoyo's mother could surely make things all right. She would fix this and Tomoyo would be fine… "Okaasan," Tomoyo's voice was hoarse from screaming. Footsteps thudded along the wooden porch, anxious clicking of hard-soled high-heels.

Tomoyo shivered and thrust her hands out in front of her. "Stop! Help me! Okaasan!" Her hands clutched at the air, reaching out for a familiar touch. She could feel the presence of another body next to her, but she could not see her mother's face. Couldn't see… Desperate and afraid, Tomoyo clawed at the air. "Where are you? Okaasan, Okaasan! Where are you? I can't see you, Okaasan!" Her musical, sweet voice, now filled with pain, echoed long into the night.

Tomoyo felt herself being propelled forward into her mother's arms where she was held tight. "Tomoyo-chan, Tomoyo-chan…Calm down." She had never heard such panic in her mother's voice before. "What happened to you, Tomoyo-chan? Shh, shh. I've got you."

"I can't see!" Tomoyo wailed and pressed her face into her mother's blouse, staining it with tears. "I'm blind!!! Okaasan, make it go away! Make it stop! Make it stop! I want to see! I can't see you! My eyes, Okaasan! There's something wrong with my eyes!"

Imagine the horror Sonomi must have felt this, to see her child in this state. She gently lifted her daughter's head up and searched into her deep purple eyes for a sign. There was no light in Tomoyo's eyes; no reflection and the pupil seemed to have all but disintegrated. Her child's eyes were vacant and unseeing. "Ara, God. Tomoyo…"

Tomoyo clutched her mother's neck tightly as she was swung up into the air, feeling as vulnerable as a baby. Even when her mother set her down in the backseat of their shiny, black car Tomoyo refused to let go of her mother's grip. Sonomi sat beside Tomoyo and ordered one of her guards to drive them to the hospital, because it was obvious her daughter was in a very serious condition.

Tomoyo could hear voices and sounds coming from far off, a touches brushing against clammy skin. Paranoia overtook the little girl and she screamed at every little thing. The world seemed so different and unnatural now, even her own familiar car. She desperately longed to be able to see and therefore have control over herself again. She wept the whole way to the hospital ER, trying streaming down pale cheeks from empty, innocent eyes.

A sort of different work from me, ne minna? I promise the next chapter will be more interesting, I just had to get things started. Please keep in mind I wrote this at midnight! And the characters won't be so out of character for long, ok? Keep reading the next chapter for some wonderful Eriol! Ja! –Sora P.S- Leave me a review and tell me what you thought!

.


	2. Two

****

Look a Little Deeper

Chapter Two

By: Sorano

Disclaimer- I think we've been through this already. For legal reasons I will direct you to any other CCS work I've done.

"I want to read," Tomoyo Daidouji snapped at her mother. "I'm bored." Kept overnight in a private hospital room for observations and an X-ray the next morning, Tomoyo had stopped crying and was now sitting angrily on her bed. "The last time I was in the hospital reading was the only thing I could do. Now how am I supposed to entertain myself? I certainly can't watch T.V!" In Tomoyo's opinion, she might as well be dead. In many ways she could not be considered among the living because life could not exist without light.

Sonomi was wearing out. She had held a screaming, helpless Tomoyo in her arms for an hour before a doctor could see them. It had been a terrible moment, she felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room, when the doctor announced Tomoyo really was blind. Tomoyo stopped crying then and reacted very differently. She clawed at her air in front of her and kicked everything that her foot was able to connect with. The once gentle Tomoyo screamed at them, cursing them. Wasn't there something that could be done, she had pleaded. It broke Sonomi's heart to see her so desperate.

So Tomoyo sat there, like a log. Unable to do anything, unable to see anything and unable to feel anything.

"Ara, Tomoyo-chan, I could read to you," Sonomi suggested, attempting to calm the girl.

"Iie! You can't read to me! I can read! I know how to read! I'm not a baby! I… I don't need people to read to me!" Tomoyo groped around frantically on her bed until her fingers touched the smooth, flat surface of a new manga that she hadn't gotten around to reading yet. She flipped it open and bored her eyes down at the page. No picture came. No matter how hard she tried she could not see the couple making out or read the words the characters whispered.

"Okaasan…" a sob escaped her curled mouth and then in a sudden rage she hurled the book across the room. It was satisfying at least to hear the smack of the comic hitting the wall.

"Tomoyo!" It was hard for Sonomi to control her temper. She wanted to lecture her daughter; to tell her not to treat books that way, but Tomoyo was already so upset…

It was that sort of time that was so unnerving for Tomoyo. She was completely alone when there was silence. She could only measure the world around her by other's voices. It frightened her to think that she could never be sure if there was someone with her- whether she was being watched.

"Tomoyo-chan…" her mother tired again, her voice coming out weak and strained. It would be lying to say she wasn't relieved when a gentle taping came on the door. "Come in." It must be the nurse again.

"Ara, Kinomoto-san!" Tomoyo stiffened in her bed and cast her empty eyes away from where she guessed the door was. Sakura? Here?

"Tomoyo-chan, Sakura-san is here to see you!" Sonomi tried to sound cheerful as she pulled Sakura over to where her daughter sat motionless. "Ano, I'll be just outside, okay girls?"

"Don't worry, Daidouji-san," Tomoyo could imagine Sakura was saying this with her charming smile. "I'll take care of her." Tomoyo wanted to call out as her mother's footsteps receded, don't leave me alone with her! I can't face my bubbly Sakura-chan!

There was silence in the room, save for the broken old ceiling fan attempting to drive out the stifling summer heat. Tomoyo could picture Sakura in her mind and said a little bitterly, "I can't see you smiling like that at me."

Sakura laughed and it was beautiful. Tomoyo could feel the bed depress next to her and Sakura's warm body. "Ano, the others wanted to come with me, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura chirped. "Chiharu-chan, Rika-chan, Naoko-chan and everyone… but the nurse downstairs said it was best if only I went. She said you were a little, um, upset. So _how are_ you, honto?"

"I'm fine," Tomoyo replied, voice flat. "Medetashi. The…I _want_ to see my friends. Nani… does she think I'm dangerous or something?" She let out a hollow, bitter laugh.

"Come on, Tomoyo-chan! Don't be like that! Everyone is really worried about you. Are you coming back to school tomorrow? Everybody misses you."

Doesn't she understand? "I'm not going back to school. Never."

"That's silly, Tomoyo-chan. If you don't go to school, what _will_ you do?"

"Don't you get it? There is nothing I can do! I can't tape you anymore, I can't sew pretty costumes, I can't do anything!" Her musical voice rose in something that was not quite anger.

"Ara, please, Tomoyo-chan. There's always Braille," Sakura suggested tentively.

"Braille? Braille! Why should I have to learn how to read all over again? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Things…" Sakura stopped, deciding the proverb would not help the matter any.

Tomoyo felt a pair of arms slowly wrapping around her waist and she was being pulled into Sakura's gentle embrace. She smiled in spite of herself because Sakura was still the same.

"I brought you something," Sakura said and her arms left Tomoyo's sides. Tomoyo could hear her shuffling around- probably in her knapsack. "Here!" Something warm and furry was placed in her hands.

"You'll have to learn to see with your hands," Sakura said softly and Tomoyo's long fingers began to run up and down the object's side. She found a round stuffed body with four short limbs. On a smaller attached piece there were two small buttons.

"It's a teddy bear, isn't it?"

"Hai. I made him just for you, Tomoyo-chan."

"What does it look like, Sakura-chan?"

"He is a honey color, the same shade as my hair, with little red flakes. His paws are black leather. Isn't he just so soft? He has two black buttons for eyes and a brown bead nose. What will you call him, Tomoyo-chan?"

Tomoyo felt Sakura's fingers along side her own, stroking the bear. "Er, Tomodachi."

Sakura giggled. "May you serve well and faithfully, Tomodachi. Take care of my Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo felt herself smiling. "Arigato."

"Ara, I have something else for you, too!" There was more shuffling and she placed a box in her friend's lap. "Chocolates! The same recipie we always use for Valentine's Day! Go on, have one. Chocolate always makes me feels better when I'm down. Would you like me to unwrap one for you? Here."

Tomoyo chewed slowly, savouring the creamy, rich taste. She felt a pang of longing, wondering if she would ever be able to bake chocolates with Sakura again. She wouldn't be much help if Sakura had to do everything for her.

"Hoe!" Sakura stood up very suddenly. "Gomen nasai, Tomoyo-chan! I promised Syaoran-kun that I would meet him at eight! If you're not at school tomorrow then I'll come visit you again! Please come back, Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo felt Sakura's warm lips press against her icy cheek. "Take care, Tomoyo-chan!" Then Sakura left Tomoyo all alone.

* * *

Tomoyo was back at home, in her room, but nothing felt the same. She tried to joke with her mother by saying she would never need to worry about walking into a dark room again and she might as well get rid of her lamps. It was all the same to her.

She locked herself up in her room, sleeping the time away. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep and wouldn't talk to anyone, not even to her mother. This worried Sonomi to no end, it seemed her daughter's health was just dwindling away.

Indeed Tomoyo had found no reason to live. She felt she was only a shadow of what she used to be. In her dark world she waited all day for Sakura to come- it was the only thing she could look forward to now. Time was endless, pure and unmeasured. She could not simply glance to her watch or view the sun to know the answer. So though she could not guess the time, it was always night for her, she knew many long hours had passed.

It was only when Sonomi came to knock on the door and announce it was midnight, therefore time for bed, that Tomoyo allowed the feelings of unease to seep into her bones. Where was Sakura? Hadn't she promised to come? Sakura never broke her promises, not to her friends, not to anyone.

Had something happened to her? What if she was hurt? No, something must have come up. But what? Tomoyo just had to know. She couldn't accept the fact that her friend might've betrayed her.

She slowly sat up on her bed and stuck her arm out to her right side, moving it back and forth until her hand smacked against the night-table. Her fingers fumbled over little objects and brushes until they clasped around the firmilar feel of her phone. She did not need to punch in the phone number of her friend, because Sakura was on speed dial, number one actually.

"Moshi moshi, Kinomoto desu," a smooth male voice spoke.

"Kinomoto-san? This is Tomoyo Daidouji. Is Sa-"

"Tomoyo-chan? How nice to hear from you! How are you? Are you feeling better? I'm really sorry to hear about your…" he stopped for a moment, trying to think of the appropriate word. "I'm sorry to hear you are blind, Tomoyo."

"Um, that's alright," Tomoyo replied awkwardly, never expecting Sakura's father to be so blunt. "I was wondering if Sakura-chan was around? She was supposed to meet me today and she never showed."

"Ano, that's not like her. Sakura-chan isn't home right now, Tomoyo."

"Iie! It's the middle of the night! Where is she?" Tomoyo knew she sounded a bit possessive but she really couldn't help it. Sakura was her special friend.

Fujitaka chuckled. "Don't worry, Tomoyo-chan. I keep a good eye on my daughter."

__

Not as good as you think, Tomoyo thought, her mind drifting back of the past couple of years of card captoring.

"She's spending the night at a Rika's house. Some slumber party or something."

Tomoyo could feel bile rising up in her throat but she pressed on. "Where was she all day? Like after school? Surely she couldn't have been at Rika-chan's all that time."

"I'm really not sure. I haven't seen her since this morning. I have an inkling she was with that nice Li boy, the one from Hong Kong."

"Arigato Kinomoto-san," Tomoyo managed to cough out. "Konban wa."

"Hai, Konban wa. Take care of yourself now Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo could feel a pulsing venom flowing through her chanting with the injustice of it all. It just wasn't fair! What had she done to deserve all of this? First robbed of her life, then of her best friend. The one she loved had no use for her anymore. Turning her face into her white down pillow she cried herself to sleep. It was a relief to her to know that her eyes were still capable of producing tears.

* * *

"You have to eat something, Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi pleaded with her daughter through the door. "You'll get sick if you don't. I'll make you anything you like. How about an omlette? It's your favourite."

"I'm not hungry," was Tomoyo's dull reply.

"If you won't eat for me I'll have to take you to the hospital and they will force feed you through an I.V."

"I don't care. I don't care about anything."

With a sigh Sonomi slipped a plate of pancakes under the door so that Tomoyo could eat it later if she changed her mind. It didn't hit her until she was eating her own breakfast alone that Tomoyo would never realize the food was there.

Tomoyo was surprised to hear her stomach growling; it had been a long time since she ate. "'Kaachan," she called out hoarsely and stumbled towards the door.

"'Kaachan," Tomoyo's feet shuffled as she moved towards the door, she had her amrs stretched out in front of her like she was sleepwalking. She could smell the fresh, syrupy pancakes already though she could not tell where they were. 

She let out a loud screech when her toe banged into a wooden chest and she hopped about painfully. It didn't take long for her to lose her balance and she desperately grabbed at the air, her fingers wrapping around the window curtain. There was a loud rip and she toppled over backwards against the wall. Her back ached and she sat there for a moment disorientated. 

"Tomoyo-chan? Daijoubu?" a girl's high voice called out, opposite from Tomoyo. 

"Sakura-chan, I didn't hear you come in." Tomoyo gritted her teeth and tried to sit up.

There was a small thud next to her and she felt Sakura's small hand behind her back. "Ano, of course not with all that racket you were making. I doubt you would've heard a dinosaur. Daidouji-san sent me up to check on you. She's worried sick."

Tomoyo surprised herself by giggling. "A dinosaur? I wouldn't have heard a _dinosaur_?" The idea was ridiculous, but certainly not worth Tomoyo's hysterics.

"Ara, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura laughed too. "Hey, Daidouji-san says you haven't eaten yet."

Tomoyo suddenly turned cold and ceased her laughter. Was Sakura going to lecture her as well?

"Why don't you come out for breakfast with me and the girls?Everyone wants to see you. My treat. Remember that café Yukito brought us to last year? They have a Saturday brunch on. Ara, please come Tomoyo-chan!"

"I don't want to go," Tomoyo hissed. Once upon a time she would have like nothing more but now she couldn't go out in public the way she was. She couldn't stand having people whisper and stare and her being a 'blind girl'. And she didn't want her friends to see her. She couldn't act like everything was normal.

Tomoyo could hear Sakura sigh. "You can't stay in your room forever. You're getting so pale and thin." Sakura suddenly began to cry. "I don't want you to die on me! I miss you! Aren't you still my friend?"

Tomoyo was shocked. How could Sakura be scared? It wasn't _her_ life that was ruined. "Sakura-chan…" a shaking hand reached out, searching for Sakura's soft hair and began to lovingly stroke it. "Please don't cry, Sakura-chan. I can't leave; I'm helpless."

Sakura hiccuped and pushed Tomoyo's hand away. "Syaoran-kun!" she called. 

Tomoyo was upset. Syaoran was here too? What kind of set up was this? Had he been hiding downstairs the whole time? But no, Syaoran was quickly at Sakura's side. He must have been in the room the whole time! Tomoyo was absolutely furious!

"Li-kun?" Tomoyo whispered.

"I'm here, Daidouji-san," Syaoran's soft, boyish voice replied and he grabbed one of her hands. Sakura had brought him there because he was so much stronger than the two girls. Sakura took Tomoyo's other hand and she was pulled to her feet. Larger hands were around her waist and suddenly Tomoyo was was swinging through the air. The blood rushed painfully to her head as she was set over Syaoran's broad shoulder. 

"Let me down," she demanded, but really inside she was glad her friends cared about her so deeply.

"Sorry, Daidouji-san," Syaoran said lightly, when really he wasn't sorry at all. "Demo this is important to me and even more important to Sakura that you start acting like yourself again."

"Ara, like being kidnapped is going to help!"

"Desperate times," he said and Sakura finished off with "call for desperate measures."

Tomoyo growled and clung tight to the boy's back. The ride was was making her dizzy. "You won't take me like this the whole way will you? I'm going to be sick."

"Please don't. This is a good shirt."

"Iie, Tomoyo-chan. We're having some of your people drive us down.."

"'Kaachan!" Tomoyo called weakly but it was no use. The bright sunshine was soon driving through her eyes and her mother chose to ignore her. "Help me! Please! I can't go! I'm blind!"

Syaoran carried Tomoyo from the car, or maybe it would be more appropriate to say Limo, into the small restaurant. She had stopped complaining and wailing along the way but she was in no way happy about the matter. In the quiet of the vehicle she suddenly remembered that she was angry with Sakura.

"Where were you yesterday?" she had broke the silence. "You promised you would visit me!"

Tomoyo had found herself disadvantaged without her sight- a once easy to read Sakura was now impossible but she could detect no trace of remorse or guilt in her friend's voice.

"Gomen nasai," Sakura had bubbled. "I totally forgot! I was so busy yesterday! I was out shopping for Otousan's birthday gift. Ara, I found the most perfect gift! Remind me to show it to you later. And then I stayed overnight at Rika-chan's house. Her family was out of town for the week so she was lonely and…" her voice had trailed off. "Tomoyo-chan? Daijoubu?"

It was so typical of Sakura. She was so perfect, so utterly kind. Always the good friend. She always had a good reason for what she did.

"What's wrong, Tomoyo-chan?"

"I waited for you," Tomoyo choked out. "All day long I was alone and I waited for you." 

Sakura reached out to her but Tomoyo had moved away. 

"Don't touch me! You don't care about me now that I'm blind! I'm nothing to you or anyone."

Tomoyo didn't hear Syaoran whisper, "here we go again…" and she didn't hear Sakura apologizing over and over again for something that was in no way her fault. Before Syaoran carried her out Sakura said sadly, "I have a lot of power now, Tomoyo-chan. I'm so strong and I can do so much. I thought my magic would allow me to protect you. Ara, Tomoyo-chan, I would give all my magic up if only I had the power to give you your sight back! But Tomoyo-chan…even Clow-san could not alter fate."

* * *

Tomoyo sat amid the company of her friends feeling very out of place for so many hours. The sweet girls were so very kind to her, much to kind. They showered her with gifts and words of sorrow that did nothing to cease the aching in her heart. Actually it seemed they wouldn't let her condition drop in addition to treating her like a china doll that could break at any minute. Sakura's plan to make her forget and relax was failing. 

Tomoyo glowered when Naoko had to read out the menu to her but she put on a happy face lest her friends worry. She did not want to make her friends sad, because they seemed so disappointed when she frowned. It was not new to her; she had spent her whole life behind a façade. It was only that now it seemed to require so much more energy. 

The busy restaurant was frightening to Tomoyo. She hated being so vulnerable, even if her friends were with her. Say they left her there, what would she do then? How could she possibly get home? Who could she trust to ask for help? It was horrible having to depend on people. After all the battles Sakura had been through Tomoyo knew what it felt like to be a liability. She always had to depend on her friend to get her out of tight spots but now it was pathetic. She almost wished it had been Sakura who had been dealt this card because it seemed she had it so good, but Tomoyo kicked herself for it, she would gladly take a million pains for Sakura.

"Hey, Tomoyo-chan," Chiharu said nervously. "What is it like being blind?" Her voice was a little nervous, like her desire not to offend Tomoyo was won over by her curiosity.

"What do you mean?" Tomoyo struggled to control her voice. What a stupid question!

"Um, well, like what do you see? Just darkness, like when you turn out a light?"

"I see nothing."

"But you must see black- the absence of color?"

"Iie. You…you can't understand until you are in the place. The part of my mind doesn't work anymore. I can't remember what it's like to 'see'.

There were murmurs all around the table. "That's so sad," Chiharu said and Tomoyo had to agree. It was so sad, wasn't it?

"I hate it," Tomoyo said, her voice slowly rising with each syllable. "I can't stand being blind! I want to see! I want to know what my food looks like before I put it in my mouth and I want to make sure I am really sitting here with people I know and…"

"Poor Tomoyo-chan!" the girls all chorused.

"It's not fair!"

The girls were a little taken back. Tomoyo never showed this much emotion at school. "So Tomoyo-chan, can you read Braille?"

"Let's change the subject please," Tomoyo said tiredly.

"There's a shop downstairs specializing in blind people-"

"I'm not a blind girl!" Tomoyo wailed. "I'm not! I'm me! I'm Tomoyo! Aren't I still Tomoyo?" She smacked her fist against the padded booth like a small child having a temper tantrum.

All of a sudden a clear, crisp voice cut through the pandemonium like scissors through paper. "That will be enough, Daidouji-san."

Oh I am so glad to be done that chapter! Now I can get onto the good stuff like E+T!!!!! Please keep reading and drop me a review to tell me if you like it so far. I apologize if this last was messy, I rushed. Ja! -Sora


	3. Three

****

Look a Little Deeper

By: Sorano

Chapter Three

Disclaimer- CCS does not belong to me and I am gratefully borrowing the characters without permission from my wonderful CLAMP.

"Eriol-kun!" a chair skidded and Tomoyo was sure that was Sakura jumping up.

Eriol Hiirigizawa was here then? Why now? After all these years? Now? It had been two long years since Eriol had left for England. They had written once or twice but communication pretty much ended there. He would be different now. Older. Suddenly Tomoyo had a strong desire to see his face, search those calm deep eyes for an answer. Look upon her childhood. But it was too late now. Tomoyo's days of sight were over. If vision meant nothing then people were nothing as well.

Footsteps. Was that Eriol walking towards their table? "Hiirigizawa-san?" Tomoyo's voice surprised even her. It sounded so tired and strained.

"Daidouji-san," was the polite and cool response.

Tomoyo could hear his breathing next to her and feel his presence. She had become good at feeling people's auras. Eriol's chi was a dark, metallic blue. It was cold and warm at the same time.

She put on a smile. "Have a seat, Hiirigizawa-san."

"Are you going to throw anything at me? You seemed a little out of control a few minutes ago."

"I won't bite you. I promise."

The boy gave a gentle laugh that sent goosebumps racing up and Tomoyo's spine. A chair was pulled out presumably across from Tomoyo.

"How have you been, Daidouji-san?" Eriol inquired.

Tomoyo fiddled with her napkin, tearing it to shreds below the table. "Fine. I mean, I've been doing alright."

"I'm glad to hear that. Minna-san? Has life in Tomoeda been well?"

"Hai," the girls chorused. "We are all fine."

"Sakura-chan," Eriol spoke teasingly to his heir. "Are the you-know-whats alright? No more wild teddy bear attacks? I hope they haven't been giving you too much trouble."

Sakura giggled. "They are good. I can…" her voice faltered. "Maybe we can talk later, Hiirigizawa-san."

Tomoyo understood when Chiharu squealed, "Ara, are you two keeping secrets now? What are you-know-whats? Are you two having an affair?" The last bit just slipped out and the table went silent. Tomoyo ached to see the expression on her friend's expressions, most of all Eriol's. No, Eriol would keep his face smooth and controlled.

True to himself, Eriol chuckled. "Hai, Sakura and I are going to sneak out at midnight and seduce each other under the moonlight."

The girls began to chatter about all sorts of little things, sex gossip no doubt, and Tomoyo zoned out. It was hard to keep her concentration when she couldn't make eye contact anymore. Her mind wandered away from the conversation.

"Here you are miss," a prissy female voice said. "Here. Pancakes and omelette with orange juice, just like you ordered."

"Tomoyo-chan," Sakura prodded Tomoyo with a sticky fork. "The waitress brought you your meal." Sakura spoke in a hushed tone but Tomoyo was sure everyone could hear.

"Um, hai. Gomen. Er, arigatou," she tilted her face in the general direction of the waitress and then felt around for her plate. She was relieved when the footsteps faded away.

__

Fork. Fork. Where was it? Alright, Tomoyo the girl whispered to herself, feeling a blush creep across her cheeks._ The fork is always on the right side of the plate, spoon and knife on the left. At least that's what Eriol told me._

Her shaking hand grabbed the hard edge of the table and moved upwards until it came to the polished surface of her plate. _To the right, it's to the right._

"Tomoyo-chan," Rika said gently, placing the fork into her friend's trembling hand. "Have you ate anything since you…" her voice trailed off, a nameless ailment. "It will get easier," she added with a hint of doubt. "See," Rika took Tomoyo's hand within her own and guided it over the plate. "Here is your omelette at the top and a pile of pancakes at the bottom. Your orange juice is top right and the maple syrup is top left."

Tomoyo was humiliated. Never before in her life had she felt so outcasted and different, so incredibly helpless. She could feel every pair of eyes at the table boring into her, searching and tearing her apart with their gaze. She was helpless to fight back.

So Eriol must know now then, how could he not? Tomoyo was making such a scene. He must be filled with pity for her, poor little Tomoyo. Or worse yet, repulsion. Oh, it was awful to think that she might disgust that beautiful, ominous mage. She could sense his stare. His aura was peering right through her. It made Tomoyo uncomfortable.

"Stop looking at me!" she cried. "All of you! I know you are staring at poor, freaky Tomoyo! I'm still me! I can eat! Watch!"

Tomoyo jabbed her fork into the upper end of the plate and it screeched along the glass. Her second try picked up a rubbery egg which she popped into her mouth. The food tasted so good and warm. She was so hungry.

She began to stuff food in her mouth without even pausing to chew. She devoured her omelette in minutes and moved onto the pancakes.

"Um, Tomoyo –chan, would you like me to cut up your pancakes for you?" timid Naoko offered tentatively. 

"Iie! I don't need any help! I don't need anyone's help!"

Tomoyo placed the warm dough in her mouth and swallowed it whole. It was hard going down but oddly satisfying. Her hand reached clumsily forward and collided with a cold cylinder. She heard glass shatter and cold, sticky liquid ran over and through her fingers.

"Ara, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura cried with a hint of exasperation. "Slow down! It isn't a contest!"

"I couldn't help it," Tomoyo said in a small voice. "It's not my fault. Nothing is my fault. I'm blind. I couldn't see where the glass was!"

"Calm down!" Chiharu growled. "People are staring."

__

People are staring! Who can help but stare at a blind kid?

"I want to go home now," Tomoyo whispered. "Please take me home now."

"Demo, we are-"

"Li-kun," Tomoyo pleased to her most serious friend. "Please call my drivers."

"I- okay, Daidouji-chan."

__

Chan? Chan! What was that for?

"I'm sorry I forced you to come out here when you clearly wasn't ready."

Tomoyo just nodded dumbly, focusing her empty eyes on the floor. The Chinese boy grabbed her hands a little roughly and helped her to stand.

"Sayonara Tomoyo-chan!" the girls called mournfully. "Are you coming to school tomorrow?"

"Ja mata," Eriol's voice lingered in her mind.

* * *

"I am lonely," the words rolled off her tongue, bounced against the walls before dissapering. No one heard them. The dark room was empty- at least it was to Tomoyo. Her own self was the center of her universe and it was her universe. Sometimes she felt like she was in a parallel world that was a photo negative of the real one. But what was real? In this universe nothing was real- nothing was alive. It was only Tomoyo. Tomoyo was all.

Isolated from society Tomoyo sat alone in the sunroom, rocking gently back and forth on the old wicker-rocking couch. The wind moved through her long hair, billowing it up and then kissing her face. The sun was nice. Sometimes Tomoyo thought that she could see the orange-tinge glow of the sun peaking through the clear irises but it was only an illusion. She could never see the golden summer king again.

"Come with me to the market today, Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi begged, distressed at her daughter's ever-pale face. "You used to love coming to the market and buying new fabrics. I know those dresses you spent some much time on were for little Sakura-chan."

"I want to stay here. I like it here," Tomoyo said, slowly folding her arms over her chest. She liked the security and comfort that the sunny little room offered. She was not afraid here.

"You can't sit here forever, Tomoyo-chan. Everyday you come down and just sit there until nightfall. You refuse to join me for meals and I can barely get two sentences out of you at a time. Where's my girl's loving smile?"

"Dead," Tomoyo replied her voice hollow.

Sonomi sighed and raked a tired hand through her short, light hair. She had not wanted to mention this option to her but now it seemed there was no other choice. If she did not act quickly then her daughter would fade away, melt into her own shadows.

"Tomoyo-chan, I was thinking of something that would be nice for you." Sonomi waited but no response came. She pressed on with a bit too much vigour. "There are people who could help you, who can talk with you."

Tomoyo's face remained stony and unreadable. Sonomi wished she had some inkling at all to what her daughter was thinking, if she even thought at all anymore.

"I had a nice little chat with Dr. Himino yesterday."

"A shrink," Tomoyo said hoarsely. "You told a shrink about me? Are you going to lock me up in some hospital now? You…you think I'm unstable."

"Hai. No, no. Iie, that's not what I meant. You have problems, Tomoyo-chan. You have to admit it before you can conquer it. I would never lock you up anywhere and I don't think you are insane."

"I never said I was insane!" Tomoyo hollered. "So that's what you really think of me, ne?" Her voice was hard and bitter, Tomoyo never had the power to make her mother flinch like that before.

"Iie, I don't think that at all." Sonomi spoke after a while. She was growing tired of having to defend herself. Tomoyo could not go on putting the blame on others. It was hurting the ones she loved and eventually it would tear away at herself.

"There are schools, Tomoyo-chan. Schools for the blind. They can teach you stuff there. Show you how to function without your sight."

"Maybe I don't want to live without my sight," Tomoyo stated flatly. "Maybe I don't want to be a blind person."

"You don't have a choice, Tomoyo-chan! What is will be and there is nothing you can do to change that. You can only be happy when you accept that fact."

Tomoyo did not reply so Sonomi went back inside, letting the door shut with a final snap.

* * *

"I changed my mind," Tomoyo announced, walking into the den where her mother was watching television. She had let the static noise guide her and would not allow any servants show her the way.

"You will talk to someone about your problems then?"

"Iie. I will not. I have decided to accompany you to the market."

"That's great, Tomoyo-chan. If you would hold on just a minute I will go and get myself ready."

Tomoyo nodded and sunk into a nearby chair. Her fingers brushed over a sticky clump on the plush a material and a small smile appeared on her face. Sakura had spilt her finger paints there many years ago. If she remembered correctly that spot was a bright orange splot among the dreary beige. 

What was a life without colour? Where was the happiness in darkness? Colours stirred up emotions and memories and black sucked them all away until the point that life had no meaning.

Sonomi re-entered the room, smelling quite strongly of perfume that made Tomoyo's eyes water.

"Ano, let's go, Tomoyo-chan," Sonomi said briskly as she clasped Tomoyo's hand. She insisted to holding onto Tomoyo's hand all the way down to the market. In all honesty, Tomoyo was quite glad because touch was what she relied on not to lose herself. If she were to become separated from her mother than the hubble-bubble of the city streets would overwhelm her. Even as it was Tomoyo's hand was glued so tight to her mother's that both their skin turned red.

The market wad full of good smells and merry music. Tomoyo gave a great sniff and a smile crawled across her face. "Ara, can you smell them, Okaasan? Hot dogs, elephant ears and oh, I can almost taste those berry pops! It has been too long since I've been here. You used to take Sakura-chan and me every weekend when we were little, remember? I think that was my most favourite time."

Sonomi grinned at her daughter, then remembered that that wouldn't do. "Hai, I enjoyed that, too."

"I miss being little sometimes, Okaasan. I miss colours. Hey, lets buy some berry pops, okay? For old times sake?"

The line was long and the summer day was hot. Tomoyo was constantly asking her mother how many people were ahead of them and the sweet raspberry smell was driving her crazy.

There was a tugging at her blouse and the annoyed Tomoyo whiped around. "Okaasan? Nani?"

"Konnichiwa, Daidouji-san," a silky, male voice called, as the warm hand that had grabbed her moved up her shoulder and rested there.

"Hiirigizawa-san," Tomoyo flushed. She had made a fool of herself the week before. How could Eriol even stand to look at her? She had thrown a tantrum, like a little child.

"Are you well?"

"Hai, um, you?"

"Never better. Daidouji-san, how would you like to walk with me? I have never been to this market before and I would appreciate your guidance."

"Okaasan?" _Please say no. Please say no. Don't leave me alone with Eriol._

"I don't think so, Hiirigizawa-san. Not today. Tomoyo-chan is… not up to much today. She hasn't been feeling well lately."

"I know, but I will take good care of her. It's been a few years since we've had a chance to talk."

Tomoyo wanted to scream when her mother's hand slowly slid out of her sticky grasp and she was left alone, defenceless. 

"I'll bring her home later, Daidouji-san."

"Ano, have a good time, Tomoyo-chan."

"Okaasan, please don't leave me." Tomoyo's voice came out as a croak.

"Tomoyo-chan, Hiirigizawa-san is your friend. He won't hurt you." Sonomi reached down and hugged Tomoyo awkwardly before she turned away into the crowd.

"Would you like a berry pop, Tomoyo-chan? I think it would do you good."

"Okaasan and I were in line. Aren't we still?"

"Iie, the line has moved on. Demo, its shorter now so well go back?"

Tomoyo grudgingly allowed herself to be pulled along by Eriol. "I think I know what I need," she huffed. "A leash for people to lead me around by."

Eriol laughed. "That would be a disgrace to you. You talk about yourself like you aren't even humen."

"Please don't start on that. I'm getting really tired of people telling me to get over it."

"Alright, we'll talk about something else."

"How was England? Why did you come back? It's your home, ne?"

Tomoyo heard Eriol sigh deeply and fiddle with something. "England is nothing now. I felt rather out of place there, now that I have fulfilled my purpose setting Sakura-chan on the right path. I came back here to stay so that I can live now. I do not wish to be Clow Reed any longer. Do you know what that's like, Daidouji-san? To be forced into an uncomfortable mold?"

__

An uncomfortable mold. "I think I know. Or, I used to."

There was a brief pause and Tomoyo wondered if Eriol was embarrassed. Was he blushing maybe?

"Two raspberry please," Eriol said and Tomoyo assumed they reached they front of the line. "Hold out your hand, Daidouji-san," he said and Tomoyo thrust it out. 

Tomoyo's fingers closed around the wooden stick and a sticky liquid dripped down onto them. The smell was stronger than ever now.

"You will want to eat that quickly, Daidouji-san. It's dripping."

"I know."

"Ano, it's just like always. Go ahead or would you rather drink it?"

"I can't," Tomoyo faltered.

"Why not? You know the Berry Pop is in your hand and you know where your mouth is. Move one into the other."

"Its not that simple!"

"Sure it is. Lick that up, Daidouji-san, it'll stain your pretty skirt."

Tomoyo raised her hand up high and opened her mouth. She missed the first couple of times, hitting her cheeks instead but after a while a natural gravity allowed her to place the sweet confection in her mouth.

"Ohhh, it's so good! I had forgotten what it felt like." She gave an ungraceful slurp.

Eriol squeezed her hand and pulled her through the crowds. Tomoyo could feel heavy bodies smothered against her and a hot putrid smell that made her gag. "It must be crowded today," she commented.

"Not really. We're in the stage area where everyone is gathered to watch the show."

"Ara!" Tomoyo clapped her hands gleefully. "Who's playing today? Wait- don't tell me. I can hear them. It's… Daikonnai, ne?"

"You're a sharp girl, Daidouji-san."

"For a blind girl you mean."

"Why do you keep going back to that?" Eriol asked quietly. "Hai, you're blind. I'm really, really sorry about that, did I tell you? But you know, I truly do pity you."

"Don't lecture me, Hiirigizawa-san. I don't need it from you."

"You need it from someone."

"How would you know? How could you know what it feels like?"

"You're right. I don't. Would you care to enlighten me?"

"Nani?" Tomoyo said sharply and halted her tongue. _What could she say? It's not like something you can just describe. _"Err, its not like- its not like you could ever understand!"

"Ah hah, I've got you. You don't know how you feel. You've been running off raw emotion all this time and you have nothing to fuel it. You don't know why you're upset, you just feel like you should be. You can't see how much you've changed."

"What, do you want me to go and write a book now? 'A day in the shadows' by Daidouji Tomoyo."

"Would it help?" he asked mildly.

Tomoyo yanked her hand out of his own and felt her puppet strings snap. Her connection shattered and she was afraid. She took a step away and another, then broke into a run. She was free and wild and since her world was empty then she didn't need to worry which direction she was headed or what she could come across.

People yelped and there was a heavy thudding of feet as people moved out of the mad girl's way. A screeching and honking told her that she must have reached the road. She was lucky she didn't run straight into a wall but maybe some inner part of her knew where she was going. Heck, maybe she had intended to run into the road all along. She pressed on, gathering more and more speed. Her footsteps echoed lightly against the ground.

"Hey, hey!" People called and Tomoyo felt a million fingers tugging at her.

"Hey, somebody stop that girl! She's going to kill herself!"

"What the hell does she think she's doing?"  
"Watch out!"

Wheels, spinning and zooming down the melting asphalt, the sound was a siren Tomoyo couldn't place. Air zipped by her, tearing at her skirt. _Why is this road so wide? Was she going up or down?_ Fear throbbed in her temples. _Where am I?_

There came a hard blow to Tomoyo's back, sending her crashing to one side and knocking the wind forcefully out of her. Arms gripped her tightly around her waist and supported her as they hit the ground. Gravel scratched her skin and her head banged painfully down. Another car zoomed by, so dangerously close to her fallen body.

"Ara, God, Tomoyo-chan," a voice wheezed. Tomoyo knew her saviour to be Eriol. Though his voice was harsher and scratchy he still smelt and felt like Eriol. She remembered the feeling of them flying through the air together.

'Don't do that!" Suddenly Eriol was laughing. A horrible, absurd laugh. "I think you took fifty years off my life."

"Only old people can say that," Tomoyo struggled to retort.

"And me. Ara, you did scare me. I really thought I wouldn't make it in time. You run so fast, Daidouji-san. Someday even Sakura-chan will have trouble keeping up with you."

Tomoyo laughed weakly.

"Hey, can you get up? I'm sorry I had to push you. But it was that or have you dead."

"Daijoubu. I… never mind." Tomoyo rolled over onto her stomach and placed her hands underneath herself. The car exhaust made her cough and double over. She felt Eriol's body pressed next to hers and with his arm around her she was able to heave herself up.

"Where are we, Hiirigizawa-san?" Tomoyo's voice shook.

"We are now on the opposite side of the highway from the market is. Would you care to explain why we are here?"

"Are people staring? I can feel eyes."

"Ano, what do you expect? You frightened everyone, running out into the street like that. People tried to stop you but you raced like the devil was after you."

"Maybe he was."

"Iie, he's everywhere. You can't escape him because he's _inside _of you."

Still holding on tight to her, Eriol began to lead Tomoyo down the street, guiding her out of harm's way. "There's a crosswalk down here somewhere is you want to go back to the market," he said huskily into her ear. "Demo, I think I should take you home now."

Tomoyo was silent. She did not want to go home, back to her isolate prison of thoughts and hurt.

Eriol gave her shoulders a little squeeze. "Hm? What would you like?"

His simple kindness was overwhelming. They were almost strangers, yet he was treating her as if she was someone important. Somehow something just gave way in Tomoyo, something much larger than just blindness and she began to sob.

They stopped right there on the sidewalk. As Tomoyo's small body wracked with tears she imagined how appalled Eriol must be. Here he was doing her such a big favour and she was going to fall apart on him. 

"Daidouji-san?" he whispered gently. He pulled her to the side and they collapsed onto a hard wooden bench. Her head found it's way into the nook of his shoulder and buried itself in there.

Eriol quickly got over his startlement and found himself a part to comfort her. He felt a shock realising he was hit rock bottom of Tomoyo's soul. What had he uncovered there? What could make the girl cry so?

Tomoyo felt his slender hand combing through her thick, tangled long hair. It was a gentle touch and made Tomoyo cry only harder. The simple act of somebody taking care of her brought back far too many painful memories. There was once another man, older, who had done this for her. Who once held her the same way,

Eriol was talking softly, not regular nonsense but with serious words. Tomoyo couldn't hear anything. Nothing but the beating of her own heart. _He asked me what **I, Tomoyo, **would like._

***************************************************************************************************************************


End file.
